Lately, I have been living between the checkmarks on endless
to do lists while dreaming of brain pathways, lung sounds, and x-rays. All
around me the world has transformed into a Christmas wonderland in anticipation
of the coming celebration. Even now as I write this I sit at Starbucks
listening to carols and sipping from a red cup.
Between me and Christmas stand four exams and a quiz.
Medical school is a lot of hard work (and that is an understatement), but I
have been struck more and more, especially lately, how grateful I am to be here,
to get to study. The journey to getting into medical school was not easy, and
those of you who lived through the years leading up to today will remember how
many times I doubted I was called to be a physician. I wanted to write this
reflection today to attest to the faithfulness of God that prepared, equipped,
and strengthened me throughout.
In the past years myself,
family, and friends were exposed to health problems ranging from large
sicknesses such as cancer to accidents and injuries such as head trauma and
broken bones to more common (or not) things such as salivary gland infections and pneumonia.
My exposure to each of these helped to educate me, clinically, but also
contributed to my ability to listen, support and care for those impacted by
loved one’s health problems, and lean on the Lord for strength when my own was
lacking.
While in college, many doors opened for me to pursue
leadership roles in programs where I learned crisis management and problem-solving
skills, communication skills, and school-life balance. Looking back, specifically,
the life skills I learned while helping lead 250 people in Mexico were
incredibly important for medical school, and this was not an experience I
originally sought out! Rather, the door was opened when what I had planned for
myself fell through.
I think it’s funny that we often encounter God the most when
the plans we make for ourselves—and are so sure of—do not pan out. I can attest
that He has a plan for your life, He wants to use you for His purposes, and He
will orchestrate your circumstances
so that you are prepared, equipped, and strengthened to take on all He has for
you.
The biggest example I can think of, and the greatest
blessing in disguise was my not
getting into medical school, initially. As I mentioned before, I had doubts
about my purpose in medicine; these doubts stemmed mainly from the length of
commitment to school and self-doubt that I could not survive what everyone
describes as one of the most challenging educations. It was not until the door
to medicine initially appeared closed, that I actually realized it was where I
was supposed to be. Looking back, I can the gift I was given by being initially rejected from medical school. I was given instead what I could not have planned
for—a year of medical experience which prepared me for medical school in ways I
continue to daily discover.
So, I want you to know today is that God’s grace is
sufficient for you, and it is His power that is made perfect in your weaknesses
because when you are weak it is then that He shows Himself strong. I am so
grateful for the grace that has enabled me the gift of studying medicine. I am
grateful for the ways God has guided and will continue to guide my life in His
perfect will. It will not always be easy, and He does not promise it will be.
Rather God ensures that He will be with you, always. I pray you will seek Him
first and trust His plans for your life.
