2015

I can only remember actually following through with one of my past New Year’s resolutions. I think it was doable for me because it came with a pre-set, this-is-what-you-do-everyday-guide. The planner in me loved it. This year, with four days left in the year, I started thinking about the year…wanting to change the way I approach this transition from one year to the next.

This time of the year is full of competing voices. From stores and commercials we hear, constantly, how deserving we are of BEST thing and nothing can compare until we have that thing. We hear from our feelings as we receive what we desire or don’t, encounter family that we only see at this time of year, and losses are felt deeper at this time of the year. From our hearts come the desire to give and at church we hear of the baby who’s birth allows for the celebration of the holiday that ushers in the dawn of grace.

Who will we listen to?

This next year holds my last full year at Westmont. It holds many decisions, changes in living situations, huge exams, and deepening relationships. The big thing that has been on my mind this break as I sit home, post Christmas, contemplating the coming year and its emotions, is—

Who am I living for?

Over the years I have seen God take on the different roles that I have needed for the happenings of my life—from savior to parent to fighter to protector to comforter to provider, etc. He has always been the one who I could rely on, the one who held my future, who knew my every thought and desire. As I begin to feel the anxiety that plagues me in peering into next year, I bring back to my mind the fact that my Shepherd has already passed before me.

He is present with me here, he knows what I am going to face, and he will be there.

In moving into those decisions, exams, changes, and relationships, I want to make my goal for the next year to remember whom I am doing all of those things for. I want to be living for and giving my all for the glory of God. I want to place my life in His hands. He knows what the next year holds. All the joys and sorrows, successes and failings, decisions and changes—he is fully in control of it all.

I pray that as you set goals for the coming year you would remember the saving grace that we have to rely on because of the gift of a baby boy 2,000 years ago. Listen to the guidance in his will and choose to live 2015 for Him.

If you fear change, give it to Him

As some one who longs for adventure and desires to make my life have a story worth hearing about, I sure am resistant to change. I know that I am really good at being somewhere—once the change has happened and the dust settles. However, the anticipation of changing, loosing someone (even for a short time), or moving anywhere fills me with dread. I am working on learning how to embrace and long for change, because taking that leap into the unknown is often more rewarding in the long run.

This year has been a huge year of change. Some of the important people in my life have moved or left for various programs or schooling. Also, I have chosen to travel and explore new sites. Through each decision to move and do something, it was uncomfortable, but if I had chosen not to move, I would have significantly missed out. Through each moment of change; saying goodbye to old friends and welcoming in new ones, I have dared to be thankful instead of holding on to fear. Remaining fully in the present so as to remember, and even prove, God true in his promise to be with me, always. I am reminded that the perfect love of Christ casts out all fear (1 John 4:18). 

One of my favorite authors, Ann Voskamp, writes: “All fear is but the notion that God’s love ends. Did you think that I [God] end, that I will not be enough”? God offers to us his perfect love—and promises that it will never end. I remain confident in this—in every season, through every change, you are still God, and I will see His goodness.

Lord God, remind me that all fear is but the notion that your love somehow ends. You never end; our God is always infinite and enough. Today let me walk unafraid. Your endless love ends all my fears (One Thousand Gifts). God thank you that your love, your promises, and your grace direct us in to the unknown. You drive and we hang on. Earthly fears have no bound in the face of your relentless, pursuing, disarming love. Wrap me up in that and never let me fall. Help me to grow in  my dependance on you. Thank you for saving me from myself. God of wonders, thank you for blessing me.

Embrace the change and hold fast to God as he directs you through the wild ride of life. Live in the present and head into the unknown; confident that your guide knows the way.